“ I’m a woman except for the days when i’m a man ”
At the beginning of the summer I saw Lorde’s image completely rebranded. I don’t know if it was even a rebrand, I just felt the vibe was different to what I knew of her before - which was a curly haired teen pop star singing Royals. I was hooked. This was different. White shirt - this made me think of my school uniform ( hello romantic nostalgia brain ). We would wear funky bras or slutty bikinis underneath our school shirts so that in the summer we could whip them off and go straight to Tooting Common to smoke cigs and flirt with boys. Or we’d go and jump in at the deep end of the Lido. Running down the multi-coloured wooden slatted changing rooms in our Primark ballet pumps and spine altering book filled shoulder bags. School skirts rolled up. Big sunnies. Coming of age movie soundtrack playing through the iPod classic but specifically set in South London.
The jeans the jeans lordey Lorde they are good. They remind me of the kind of jeans my dad would bring back from the charity shop every week (I know where I get my second hand shopping habits from…). 90s blue wash. Perfect for hanging your trinkets on.
Anyway I just saw these pictures and was like, yeah, somethings different, I like what I seeeeee. Then I started digging. Listening to all the interviews and reading all the Lorde segments. I must admit I only listened to the album once. I’ll give it another go. Sue me i’m, culturally, a bad gay. Pop has never been my yum. But, what I rate about Lorde, is how she’s brought gender expression nuance into the public realm. Obviously she’s not the first queer person in pop. And she’s still a skinny, white, cis woman (groundbreaking), but there is something quite magic about how she talks about gender - especially in her interview with Bella Freud.
In the interview on Fashion Neurosis (which has some really great interviews on it - some favourites being Honey Dijon, Alex Consani and John Cooper Clark) - Lorde talks a lot about her relationship to her body, especially her journey post ED through MDMA therapy and a lot of spiritual deep diving into how we can become embodied.
“i’m gonna be in this body for the rest of my life.. .”
I’ve been lucky that during my lifetime of getting dressed myself, my gender, and using clothes to express that, has been a site of joy. When I was a kid I refused to wear the dresses my mum made for me and my sister because I wanted to look like a little sk8r (thanks to the influence of Avril Lavigne and perhaps a deep inner queerness). As a grown woman my femininity has been something that I play with - often mirroring ways of dressing shown to me by my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother - a kind of style that is timeless and lives in reference pictures from our family albums. Even when I dip into trends or my masculinity, I try and mix it with something timeless and innate to the women that have paved the way for me.
I mean, sometimes i’m like eurgh this outfit would look so much better if I didn’t have boobs but I think thats poison from high fashion rather than my brain….
For many people I love, dressing can be frustrating. And I watch as I see a battle often of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. It brings up stress and self doubt and I wish I could fix it with a plaster and a magic spell and show them how the beauty radiates from within. But sometimes clothes aren’t as easy for everyone, and I know as a skinny woman things are a lot simpler unfortunately for me. The world is built for (some feminist literature would say controlled and monitored) small bodies. I kind of agree with some of these feminist theories - if i’m small and weak and hungry I cannot revolt against the injustices.
Anyway - off topic but I know that when I was depressed and a bit aimless after my dad died when I was in my early twenties, what I found empowering was getting dressed in clothes that made me feel powerful and consequently learning to make them. Experimenting, cutting things up, having fun with your clothes ultimately makes every day far less monotonous.
EL BRAS LORDE BIKINI
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EL BRAS LORDE BIKINI 〰️
In a piece about her in Dazed it sites some of the writers that she took great influence. Books like Annie Ernaux’s The Years (which I’ve written about in my substack), Maggie Nelson’s On Freedom (I highly recommend any queer woman to read The Argonauts and Bluets) and Joan Didion (obvs) have all influenced Lorde’s way of thinking about her relationship to her body and I feel like it comes out in her fashion sense.
She also talks about watching Stop Making Sense and the affect David Byrne has on her. I remember the first time I saw Stop Making Sense. It was in my ex’s room and he was showing me and his housemate - a drummer from Ibiza - the iconic film repeatedly saying ‘I can’t believe you’ve never seen this!!!” . We sat on his bed smoking weed and staring up at David Byrne’s spot-lit face. For an hour and a half I remember feeling like I was having a religious experience. Lorde talks about this feeling. David Byrne’s purity. His soul that shines through his box-y shoulder pads and frantic dance movements. We all need to connect to the soul that shines through ourselves and adorn ourselves in whatever our iconic suit equivalent is…
Watch the full interview here and watch STOP MAKING SENSE anywhere! Do it do it! A gig from the comfort of your own home, yes please.
